You have spared no expense in the planning of your wedding. The candle wedding favors are all lit and everyone is still drying the tears from their eyes. You have thanked everyone for coming. You have paid the band and shook hands with all two hundred plus guests, pretending to remember all of them. Everyone has thanked you for the elegant wedding favors and commented on how beautiful the bride is. The ushers are bringing cars around and it is finally winding down. Now it is time for the night you have been waiting on for your entire life. Romantic candles, soft music, and a chilled bottle of wine await you, your new wife, and her mother.

Everything comes to a screeching halt. Did I just say that her mother would be spending the night with you and your bride on your wedding night? Well, you think to yourself, I guess we could make up the spare bedroom. Wrong again, because your mother in law will be in the bedroom with you. Now you know I must be either drunk as a skunk, or crazy as a loon. Well you are wrong on both counts. I am describing a wedding custom of several villages in Africa. In all complete seriousness, there are tribes who have a custom that the bride’s mother, your mother in law must spend the night with the newly married couple and it gets worse. Her job is to make sure that your new wife knows what to do to make you happy…in bed.

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Planning a wedding is a detailed act of concentration and teamwork that usually does not turn out the way you envision it. There are always problems and complications that arise and questions that need to be answered. Here are just a few of the situations you may find yourself in when planning your own wedding.

Making out a guest list for your wedding can be a very stressful event. It does not matter how many times you go over it, there is always someone that you meant to invite that does not make it onto the list. Usually, ten or twenty some bodies will come to mind and this will almost always happen after you have made your catering plans. What do you do when you realize that you have left some very important people in your life off the wedding invitation list? There is not much you can do except invite them and make the adjustments with the caterers or leave things as they are and bite the bullet later.

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Almost everyone gets cold feet to some degree or another. The thing is that most people are strong enough to resist it or in love enough to ignore it. However, there are people who seem to be afflicted much more than others. These unfortunate people are the ones who barely make it through the ceremony without bolting. They sweat profusely and their eyes are constantly darting about, looking for avenues of escape. If you suspect your immanent spouse to be one of these poor souls but you are not sure what to look for, here are some of the tell tale signs and how to spot them.

The first thing you can do if you want the down and dirty info on your spouse and you want it on the down low, which is slang for if you want to know how he or she is reacting but you don’t want them to know that you know, is to use spies. This is very easily done with bridesmaid gifts or maid of honor gifts that are overly expensive. You basically hire the person to be your spy and pay them out in the open to avoid blowing their cover with an unusually expensive yet expected gift. However, you will want to watch your camp and make sure your groomsmen are not suddenly wearing Rolexes or that your groomsman is not sporting around town in a new car that you know he can’t afford. These are telltale signs that the enemy, or in this case, your betrothed is watching you closer than you think.

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Planning a wedding is a time consuming and often a daunting project and there never seems to be enough time to get everything done to your satisfaction. Sometimes, you just have to say good enough is good enough, however, when it comes to your wedding that is a hard thing to do. If you are getting ready to start planning your wedding, you may want to organize your time and take on one task at a time. While some people will tell you that this is impossible, there are definitely steps that you can take to make it easier. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

The most important part of being organized is the ability to make a list. This might sound easy but it is not. In fact, an unorganized or poorly put together list could quite possibly do more harm than good. Hone your list building skills before you make any serious attempt at making a list for your wedding planning. First, write down all the things you need to accomplish to have a great wedding. You might say, that is a list, but it is not. When you have written down everything you need, you have a fair idea of what to do but that is all. Now you need to make a list for each item on your “need” list. These lists should encompass the steps you have to take to achieve each item.

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After a year of planning details, hiring caterers and interviewing bands, disc jockeys, and surveying wedding halls and churches, you are going to be either completely exhausted or totally focused. In either case, the last day of your wait, which is the day before your wedding, you have 24 hours to wrap up the details and take care of a few commitments. However, the biggest challenge you now face is getting some rest, you are going to need it.

The last day before your wedding is usually reserved for beauty treatments such as hair and make-up prep, nails and for final rehearsals. With any luck, you have worn and broken in those shoes you are going to be standing in for eight to ten hours tomorrow. If not, today is your last chance to get them worn so you know what to expect from them. You have a long day tomorrow, which means you have a lot to do today.

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Don’t Forget to Breathe The big day is coming faster than you can prepare for it and you are so stressed out you could light a match…just by looking at it. Pre-wedding stress can be a royal pain in the wallet as well as the heart and there is no worry worse than one that involves money. You have planned a wonderful wedding and reception but more things have seemingly gone wrong than right. You have heard that wedding planning is supposed to be fun but by now, that is just a vague rumor and you know the truth. If this sounds familiar and you are still planning your wedding…, STOP! Do not forget to breathe.

Choosing Your State of Mind Wedding stress is natural and is sometimes hard to deal with. It is also fun and a wonderful experience. Which one of these you get the most out of is completely up to you. If you are in a frenzied, ready to pull your hair out and then start on someone else, very stressed out mode and you are just weeks from the big day it is time for a breather because this kind of state is the last frame of mind that you want to be in going into your wedding day. It is okay to let someone else take the reins for a little bit while you gain your composure. Pass smaller but important tasks, like choosing wedding favors, especially unique wedding favors, on to someone you trust. You do not have to do everything yourself.

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Many people are still under the impression that once a woman gets married, she has to change her name. While it is true that this is common, the fact is that there are many options available to couples and all should be explored. Here are some other options that are available to couples in the 21st century.

It’s a Guy Thing Most people do not know that it is just as feasible for the man to change his last name to that of the bride’s family. This is rarely done as men tend to think of carrying on their family name and feel a sense of pride when they provide their fathers with a new generation in their lineage. Why is this so important? It is a guy thing. The fact of the matter is, in families who have only one daughter who is marrying into a family with more than one son, using the bride’s family name just makes more sense. Unfortunately, until recent times it has been a predominantly man’s world.

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Perhaps one of the most overlooked and difficult decisions couples face when deciding to get married is the name change. While it is customary for the bride to take the husbands last name, it is not something that has to be done. Once the decision is made of what the name will be changed to, if at all, here are five things you will need to know.

The first thing you will want to do is to call your local government office and have the forms mailed to you. Many towns used to hand out the forms when you applied for the marriage license but this practice is no longer followed in most cities. Once you have the forms, make sure you have all of your ducks in a row before you submit them. It is important that you fill out this form very carefully and check your spelling or you may wind up with a variation of the name and have to submit the forms twice.

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One of the most common mistakes made at a wedding reception is not having enough food catered in to feed everyone. When you order food through a catering service, you have to provide them with a number. They need to know exactly how many people were invited in order to quote you a price on the overall meal. The caterer projects how much ot will cost to prepare each meal and what is left over is his or her profit. For this reason, you can almost bet that the caterer will not prepare more that that amount of meals and there will be very little left over for extra guest.

Unfortunately, this is one aspect of your wedding plans that yu cannot completely control. No matter how much you emphasis, some of your guests will bring someone with them whether it is a guest or a child or parent. It is almost inevitable. All that you can do is hope that the no shows will outweigh the extras and order a few extra meals from the start. The other danger is that some guests will take more than they are allowed so provide plenty of appetizers and have the guests served as opposed to buffet style.

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If you’re about to get married, your big day occupies most of your thoughts. No matter how hard to try to think about other topics, little else can truly hold your attention. After all, you’re going to be the center of attention throughout the entire event. That’s a little bit nerve wracking. Another reason your nuptials consume so much of your time, energy, and attention is that there are so many details to oversee and never enough time for them all. From the moment you say yes to the ring, you’re behind schedule. Experts will say a year is minimal for planning a wedding. But talk to any harried bride-to-be and she’ll tell you that there’s never enough time-no matter how much time you have!

As soon as you don that engagement ring, you begin making decisions and plans. There are attendants to secure and dates to set. Invitations must be selected and ordered well in advance. There are decisions to be made regarding style and theme. There are aisles of gowns to try on before you find “the one.” There are gifts to pick out and registries to fill. You also have to haggle with your fianc about which officiate will perform the ceremony. And if that doesn’t dissolve the two of you into a knock-down-drag-out feud, then you can start planning a honeymoon.

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